澳洲故事#1 ： 丛林魅影

我们在露营车里生活的时候，Jay每天都会记日记。

遇到特别的人和特殊的事情，会专门写成文章。

这几天我们做了一些整理，

一共165天的日记。

那就专门出一个「故事」专栏，

跟你分享路上的那些人和故事。

所有的故事都是Jay写的，

我会附上翻译。

希望你们喜欢 ❤️

<故事01>

日出后不久，我遇到了 Jackson（我们在同一个露营地）。他是一位穿着短款卡其色户外服的老人，当时的他，坐在自己停靠在沙地上的小游艇边上，头戴一顶卡其色沿边帽，脸上架着一副黑色太阳镜，嘴里紧紧叼着一根卷烟，烟头提溜着烟丝。

As I pull up a torn fold up deck chair beside his, I can’t help but notice his bare legs and feet looking rather pale and blue in comparison with the rest of his body. 

我撑开了一把户外折叠椅坐在了他的旁边。因为距离很近，不禁注意到了他的腿脚肤色格外苍白，可以清晰看到里面的蓝色血管。

The first words to leave his mouth, yell, “Look!” in a harsh Aussie accent. Followed by a finger pointing up at the tree behind me, “Can you see that red Cockatoo over there?” 

还记得他说的第一句话，“快看！” 带着浓厚的澳洲口音，手指着我身后不远处的那棵大树，说：“你能看到树上的那只红鹦鹉么？”

Confused and unexpected by his spontaneous excitement I turn around with high hopes to see a red Cockatoo in the tree, but what follows soon after is only a brief wave of disappointment, finding no trace or sound of any animal, only an abundance of dying leaves instead.

我带着困惑和满心的期待我扭头去找那只红鹦鹉，找了好一会儿，我没看到或者听到任何动物的迹象，眼前就只是满树的枯叶子。

Unsure with what to say, I mumble politely, “Ermm no, I can’t. Sorry.” 

不确定要说点什么，我礼貌地嘟囔着: “嗯。。。那个。。。我没到找，实在抱歉。”

In a harsh and disappointed tone of voice, he mutters, “That’s the trouble with you city folk, you look but you don’t see.” 

带着一点失望的语气，他抱怨道：“这就是你们城里人的问题，你睁开眼睛了，但是你没用心看。”

I sit and wait for the following words. 

我在一旁没有吱声儿。

“A lot of tourists come over here looking for wildlife but the majority of em’ end up leaving the bush seeing less than what they expected. It’s because they don’t bloody look ard’ enough, that’s why!” 

”很多游客来这里想看野生动物，但大多数人最后看到的都比期待中的少，为什么呢？就是因为他们根本没有用心看！“

In an angry and impatient sort of gesture, he dives his hand into the right-hand pocket of his tattered deck chair to pull out a cigarette and attempts to light it with a shaky hand. “It’s because folks nowaday’s have no patience to look at things, half the time they don’t see what’s there! Too busy on the damn phones if you ask me, it will be the ruin of us all.

他看着一副生气又不耐烦的样子，伸手进折叠椅右边兜里掏出了一根烟，用颤抖的手试图点火。“就是因为现在的人啊，没有什么耐心，大半儿时间根本就注意不到身边的东西！如果非要问我的话，怪就要怪这些该死的手机，会把所有人给毁了的。”

“If you really want to see the Cockatoo, look!” 

如果你真的想找到那只鹦鹉，你要仔细看！

5 seconds later, he impatiently mutters, “Can you not see it?” 

5秒钟后，他不耐烦地小声说，“还没看到呢？”

With a great deal of effort, I take a hard long glare into the dead tree, unexpecting to find any sort of life, since concluding that this man’s supposed cockatoo is most likely a result of his heat-stroke hallucinations. After scanning and scanning for what feels like an awkward eternity, I mutter under my breath, “I’m sorry mate but I really can’t see any bird.” 

这次我费了好大的劲，使劲儿地盯着那颗枯树，虽然我没指望能看见什么，毕竟我感觉他肯定是脑子秀逗了才看到的幻像。一遍又一遍扫视之后，感到有些尴尬的我，再一次低声嘟囔道：“对不起老伙计（澳大利亚问候对方都叫mate）我还是什么都看不到。”

“Open your eyes and look! Clear your mind and try to focus on what’s there! ” He yells. 

”睁开你的眼睛，给我仔细看！脑子里的那些有的没得都给清理了，静下心在这一件事情上！“他大声吼叫道。

I can see from his fingers, gripping the deck chair, and his frequent puffs of smoke through his nostrils, his frustration is building, fast, intensely… “Do you see it yet?” He impatiently mutters again. 

我能看出来，他的手捏紧了座椅的把手，烟一直不停地从他的鼻头里冒出来，他的挫败感越来越强烈，越来越快。。。“还没看见么？”他又一次问道。

“No.” 

没。

Before long I quickly rise from my chair, shuffle back to where he’s positioned, crouch and stare hard into the dried up gum tree’s branches. After looking and looking I still find no trace of a bird, but then, in a sudden wave of stupefied embarrassment, I find myself lost for words. The old man’s tale of the red Cock- atoo living in the dried up gum tree springs to life. It wasn’t a hallucination after all.There it is, sat peacefully, perched atop one of the branches, minding its own business. 

没过多久，我起身挪到了他的那个位置，侧蹲着试图从他的视角里去看远处的那棵枯桉树。看了好一会，我还是没看见任何东西。就在这个时候，我被眼前的景象惊到无话可说，这个老人嘴里说的红鹦鹉是真的，根本就不是他瞎编的。它就在那，很平静的呆在那个树枝上，忙活着自己的事情。

In an embarrassed tone, I say to the old man, “I see it, right there. I don’t know how I missed it, it’s so clear…“ 

这会儿我无比尴尬，对着老人说，：“我看到它了，也不知道之前怎么就看不到，其实还挺明显的。。。”

“This is exactly my point son. You look but you don’t see, just like the rest of the city folk.” 

“这就是我想告诉你的，孩子。你看了可你也没再看，就像其他的那些城里人一样。”

“How can you see that bird so fast?” I ask. 

“那你是怎么一下子就看到了？”我问到。

“I’m from the bush. If you spend enough time in the bush, it will talk to you. If you learn how to respect it.” 

我是从林子里来的。如果你在丛林里呆上足够长的时间，并学会怎么去尊重身边的环境，你自然而然就能看到了。

“So, you grew up in the bush?” I nervously repeat in question. “Yeah… I just said that.” mutters the man. 

“所以，你是林子里长大的？”我紧张的又问了一遍。“对啊， 我刚不是说了嘛。”他答道。

Once the word “Yeah” leaves his mouth, his lips start to quiver, his eyes close and a harsh trip down memory lane looks to begin for him. 

说完这句话之后，他的嘴角开始微微颤抖，随后又闭上了眼睛，似乎在回忆一些以前的事情。

A few minutes later his eyes open back up, he looks at me, spits on the ground and says, “The reason why I can see that bird in a split second is because of my grandfather’s teachings from back when I was a kid. My grandfather was a corporal in the army and for the better part of my childhood, when he raised me, he taught me a variety of skills towards the art of war and camouflage. One of the more important lessons he ever taught me was the lesson of understanding what’s around you by using your eyes and ears to see, not look. 

几分钟后，他缓缓睁开了眼睛。看了一眼我，顺嘴又吐了一口痰，随后说道：“我之所以能瞬间看到那只鸟，是因为我小时候祖父的教诲。在我大部分的童年里，我的祖父一直是一名下士。当他抚养我长大的同时，也教会了我各种战术和伪装的技巧。他给我上的最重要的一课就是用眼睛和耳朵去理解周边的环境，而不是单纯地去看。

He was the first man to tell me to see what’s there instead of just look. Ever since then, from being only a small youngster, I trained myself in the bush and taught myself how to understand and respect it using my eyes and ears. This training eventually led me into the Kong war as a ghost in the jungle.” 

他是第一个告诉我应该去看事物本质，而不是简单过目的人。从那时起，我还是个孩子，就开始在丛林里训练自己，用我的眼睛和耳朵去理解和尊重周边的环境。也正是因为这样的训练，我在后来的越战里被派遣到丛林里做间谍。（为美军/澳军提供越军在丛林里的动态）

“A ghost in the jungle? What’s that?”

丛林里的间谍？

“Have you seen the movie Rambo with that Sylvester Stallone fella?” 

”你有没有看过史泰龙的那部电影《第一滴血》？“

“Yeah..” 

“看过”。

“Yeah…” “I was basically Aussie Rambo, but without all the explosive Hollywood bow and arrow bullshit. I was one of the guys that would disappear into the jungle with only a gun, camera and radio for thirty days at a time during the war. I was able to disappear for a month, live off the grid without the need for supplies, to remove myself from existence when inside the jungle. For the time in the jungle, my mission was to secretly track the Kong’s progression and movements. For example, if I found tire marks I would discreetly track the marks until discovering the source and take photos and notes of the whereabouts of the source” The man looks down to his pale right foot and uses both hands to move it from the ground to a stool beside. 

“简单来说，我就是澳大利亚版本的兰博（兰博本是美国角色），相比之下，就是少了好莱坞的特效和那些有的没的。战争期间，我就是那种一次只带着枪、相机和收音机消失在丛林里，一呆就是30天的人。我可以消失上一个月，不仅不需要补给，还能在丛林里让对方（越军）根本觉察不出我的存在。

Are you ok?” I ask. 

“你还好么？” 我（担心地）问道。

“Yeah… I have MS, so sometimes it’s hard for me to move. I’ve got these pills, (shakes the bottle of pills in his chair’s right arm) to help me but half the time they do fuck all. I’ve only got a few years left in my legs… Can’t work now because nobody will hire me, I’m sick on paper, they can’t insure me. Some days I’m right as rain, others I’m like a bloody vegetable. You can already see my legs skin colour turning pale to shit.” 

“嗯。。。我有多发性硬化症 （一种累及中枢精神系统的神经科疾病），所以有时候活动起来比较困难。医生给我开了这些药（从右兜里掏出药瓶）说是对我有帮助，但是绝大部分时间让我变得更糟糕。他们说我的腿还能再用个小几年。我现在也不能工作，因为没有人愿意雇佣我（公司无法为这种疾病上保险）。有些时候感觉身子骨特别健朗，可其他时候又像是该死的植物人不得动弹。你可以看到我腿上的皮肤颜色已经不正常了，像死了一样惨白。

I sit silently, unsure what to say. 

我默默地坐着，不知道该说点什么。

The old man breaks silence with, “I trained myself to sleep for thirty minutes a day back in the jungle, I did this because sleep is a risk. To be incognito you need to be aware, not asleep. After the month in the jungle, I would go into a four-day hibernation to regenerate myself to go out again. 

老人又打破了僵局，说道：“我过去在丛林里训练每次只能睡30分钟，因为在林子里，睡觉是最大的威胁。想做到藏无踪迹，你必须要时刻警惕，而不是犯困。在林子里呆了一个月之后，我每次要进行为期四天的休眠调整自己的身体，休息好了再接任务。“

Out of nowhere the old man abruptly states, “I only ever had to engage twice. Two shots. Now, after all those years, I still wake up sweating, thinking about those two shots in my nightmares. It’s haunted me my entire life, never goes away. But orders are orders in war. (At this moment he closes his eyes and talks to himself in a fast-paced manner of speech) I did not kill the men the army did. I will never be able to truly explain what war is like if you have never seen it with your own eyes or felt it. To kill a man in war is not emotional it is an action, not personal. When in war you cannot and should not feel, you must just undertake orders. No emotion. No feelings. If the army tells you to engage and kill, you need not to think, just engage and kill, it’s an order. This is war. You cannot spare the life of an enemy in war, if you do, you might be the one who ends up dead.” 

说着说着，他又换了话题，” 我这辈子只放过两次枪。两枪。到现在，这么多年过去了，我还是会在梦里惊醒，梦里重复回放我放的那两枪。这是我永远都无法摆脱的噩梦。但在战争中，命令就是命令。” 这个时候他闭上了眼睛，加快了语速似乎是在自言自语：“我没有杀那个人，是军队杀的。如果你没有亲眼见过或感受过战场，我是永远没办法跟你解释什么是战争。在战场上杀人，不是被情绪所操控的，而是一种行为（指令），跟个人是无关的。在战争中，你不能也不应该有感情，你必须服从命令。没有情感，没有感情。如果军队告诉你要交火要杀人，你不需要思考，只要照做就行了。这就是命令。这就是战争。你不能在战场上饶恕敌人的性命，如果你这样做了，那最后，死的就是你了。”

The old man opens his eyes and looks up at the red Cockatoo with a grim smile. 

老人睁开了眼睛，抬头又看了看那只红鹦鹉，露出了一丝狞笑。

Still unsure of what to say, I say, “War sounds horrible, I would hate to be put into your situation. I bet you were a happy man for the war to be over and come home.” 

我还是不确定要说些什么才好，最后挤了这么一句：“战争听起来真可怕，我实在不敢想象你当时的处境。好在一切都结束了，你当时应该特别高兴可以回家了对吧。“

“I was not happy. I didn’t want the war to end. I loved my time in the jungle. I was bloody good at it. I felt more scared to come home from the war than be in it. Back home I had nothing, I was a nobody, useless in the peaceful world. The only valuable skills I knew were only useful in times of war… Not peace. So when I entered back into a world of peace, I was useless. Unemployed for over a year until finding employment as a fisherman. I guess the only use for my skills in war, now, is to catch the sight of a red Cockatoo faster than a young buck like yourself.” 

”我并不高兴。我其实不希望战争结束。我很享受我在丛林里的那些日子。因为那是我最擅长的事情。我觉得回家比在战场上更可怕。回到家里，我一无所有，是一个无名小卒，在和平世界里毫无用处。我所知道的唯一有价值的技能只能在战争时期才有用。所以，回家之后，我是无用的。失业一年多后找到了一份打渔的工作。我想，我在战争中的那些技能，唯一到现在能用上的，就是，我比像你这样的年轻人能更快看到树上的那只红鹦鹉罢了。

“What’s your name?” I ask the man.

”你的名字是？”

“My name is Jackson.” He replies. 

“我叫 Jackson。”